The demons we're made of
by dream2bawrtr
Summary: One morning at work, Ana received a call from someone who she hadn't seen and heard of in eight long years. "Anastasia." She heard a familiar voice say from the other side of the line. At hearing his voice, Ana was so startled that she almost let go of her phone...
1. Where have you been, Christian?

**Disclaimer: I do not own FSOG or these amazing characters.**

* * *

 **Note: Hello, you all.**

 **'When did I become so numb?' is almost complete... :( I've posted the latest chapter this morning. Hope you like.**

 **This story is set in an alternate universe. ( You can call this a preview. )**

 **I plan on posting this short story in September this year. :)**

 **In this one, Ana is a doctor. Christian also has another profession. I hope you enjoy reading this. I sure enjoyed writing it! :)**

 **And don't forget to tell me what you think about the chap?**

* * *

.

 **The demons we're made of**

 **.**

As Anastasia Steele did her rounds at the hospital, she received a call.

"Who could it be?" she whispered, her brows furrowed.

Whenever she received calls with an unknown number, Ana always pressed the reject button. But not today. Today it was different. It was like her gut told her to accept the call. And so she did, because she always trusted her gut.

"Hello." She said into her phone, her voice calm like usual.

"Anastasia." She heard a familiar voice say from the other side of the line.

At hearing his voice, Ana was so startled that she almost let go of her phone. However, after a few seconds she collected herself, and held it in an iron grip to her ear, afraid that he was going to hang up.

"Christian?!" Ana replied, her heart thumping against her chest, a lump stuck in her throat.

"Yes, it's me. I need you."

As those words reached her ears, she suddenly felt like the room she was in was spinning. It's been eight years since she last saw him. And all this time she and everyone else believed he was dead. Christian had been a casualty of war—or so she thought. He was alive? Oh, God.

At that very moment, she felt overwhelmed by all the emotions coursing through her. Happiness, bitterness, fear, anger and other emotions rose inside of her at once. Ana couldn't handle this; it was too much.

"Where have you been, Christian? I searched the world trying to find you."

She attempted to mask her feelings, but the clear tremble in her voice told him that she was very affected by the situation.

"I will explain, you deserve that I know, but please. Can I see you right now?" he asked, his voice a bit weak.

Ana wanted to punish him; her head was saying no. But her heart wouldn't let her head win. Her heart told her that she _needed_ to see him badly. As a sigh escaped her plump red lips, Ana nodded— even though she knew he couldn't see her.

"OK. My apartment. I'll be home after 30 minutes." Ana said.

"OK, I'll be there." He replied.

"Wait, I'm going to give you my address."

"I know where you live." Christian said.

In response, Ana furrowed her brows." Wait… what? How do you know where I live?"

"See you in 30 minutes." He replied, purposely avoiding the question.

"Christian! I asked you a question!" she said, very annoyed.

"I will explain soon, Anast—" he began, but she cut him off very harshly.

"Don't call me that! You know I go by Ana nowadays! " she shouted into the phone, her hands shaking heavily, while tears pooled in her bright blue eyes.

At that moment, Ana got so angry with him. How long has he known where she lived? He obviously tracked down her phone number too. How long has he been back? Was it just yesterday? Or last week? Last month? Or longer? How long did he have her number? Of all the days, why did he have to call her just now? Had he been following her without revealing himself? But why?!

"I'm really sorry, but I will explain. See you at your place." Was what she heard him say, and right after that, Christian hung up the phone.

Ana couldn't— just couldn't believe he did that." Unbelievable!" she growled, and walked out the hospital with a furious look on her gorgeous face. "He is _so_ going to be sorry." She mumbled, and sped away in her black convertible.

Ana had imagined a hundred and one ways how it would be if she ever saw him again. Giving up on him wasn't an option for her. Not a day went by without thinking about Christian. They had plans for the future, and she remembered how impatient he was to come home from deployment so he could marry her. The ring was still in her closet, tucked away but never forgotten. As a sigh escaped her lips, she stepped out of the car. Ana's apartment was on the tenth floor, so she had time to sort things out in her head. When the elevator door opened, and she stepped into the hallway, her heart hammered against her rib cage. Fear was the last thing she wanted to feel, but at that moment it was completely consuming her from the inside out. She was terrified!

There he was... Oh, God. It was him... it was _her_ Christian, the only man she had ever loved.

As Ana watched him, she felt such an _excruciating_ pain go through her body, from her head to her fingers and her toes. The moment their eyes locked, gray meeting blue, Ana had the sudden urge to flee. He looked so lost and broken, a mere shadow from what he used to be.

"Anastas-" he began, but he corrected himself." Ana..."

She waited, not able to move her legs. At one point, she wasn't able to bear it any longer, so she decided to do something about it. Ana put her fears aside, gathered _all_ the courage that she still had left, and slowly began closing the huge gap between her and him.

Her Christian- it was really him...

As Christian watched her closing in on him, he desperately wanted to move. Oh, God how he wished that he could run towards 'his' Ana, but he stood at that spot like he was paralyzed.

'Anastasia, my beautiful Anastasia.' was what he thought, while doing his very best to cover up his right arm.

The closer she got, the harder it became for him to breathe. At one point she stood right in front of him, her blue eyes twinkling just the way he remembered. At a certain point, the gnawing pain in Ana's heart became a bit too much for her to bear, so she broke eye contact. Christian swallowed hard, when she did that. Was she so repulsed by him that she couldn't even look at him? Tears started pooling in his eyes, as it dawned on him that Ana may never be able to forgive him. Christian knew that he did an unforgivable thing, but had his Anastasia become so unforgiving?

At that moment he was the one who wanted to run, but couldn't stand any second without her anymore.

"Ana..." was what tumbled from his lips, making a shiver go through her spine, the memory of how they first met fresh in her mind...

* * *

 **Note : Thank you so much for reading my work, you all.**

 **Leave me a comment? ;)**


	2. He will be the end of me

Disclaimer: I do not own FSOG or these amazing characters.

 **Note: Well, what can I say? I caved, because you wonderful readers have** **persuaded me**

 **via PM and the reviews, faves and follows. :)**

 **Your response to the 'preview' was so overwhelming, so I had to post this.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 **.**

 **He will be the end of me**

xxx [[[]]] xxx

* * *

 _At that moment he was the one who wanted to run, but couldn't stand any second without her anymore._

 _"Ana…" was what tumbled from his lips, making a shiver go through her spine, the memory of how they first met fresh in her mind._

 _._

 _._

 **... FLASHBACK ...**

 **.**

 **.**

 _"Kate! I cannot believe that you've convinced me to go along with you! This neighborhood is so dark and scary." Ana scolded her best friend._

 _"Oh, don't be such a scaredy-cat, Ana. Let's go inside." Kate replied, and dragged her towards the entrance of the tattoo parlor._

 _"Kate, Kate. Let go of me!" Ana protested, but for a girl her size, Kate sure was pretty strong. Guess all that training on the Police force made her stronger than she looked._

 _Before she knew it, Ana and Kate were inside the parlor. The men there were all staring at them, some even smirking and whistling._

 _Ana gulped rather loudly, and turned to face her bestie. "We need to get out of here, now." She mouthed._

 _But instead of doing what Ana suggested, Kate flashed her badge at the men. "Police business here, OK? Anyone here have a problem with it?"_

 _In response, all the men shook their heads, and said 'no' in unison._

 _"OK, then. Move along, you all. I have some business to discuss with the owner. Where is he?" Kate asked, while raising an eyebrow._

 _"I'm the owner! What's this about?" a manly, voice growled right behind the two ladies._

 _As Ana turned around, she saw a man— no, not just any man, but a man so manly looking, that her throat went dry instantly. His locks looked so soft, his gaze was piercing, his lips were curled up in a smirk, and his jaw line so beautiful, Ana swore that it could probably cut glass._

 _"I'm detective Kavanagh, and this is my friend. Can we talk somewhere privately?" Kate said coolly._

 _"Uhmm— yeah, of course. Right this way." The owner of the tattoo parlor replied._

 _When the three of them were alone, Kate suddenly burst out into laughter. And so did the handsome man._

 _At that, Ana furrowed her brows, and looked at her best friend. "Hey, what's going on here, Kate?"_

 _"Nothing. I just wanted to pull a prank on Grey's clients, that's all. They're all so scared of cops; I couldn't resist messing with them." Kate replied, with a wide grin on her pretty face._

 _"So, you two know each other?" Ana asked._

 _"Yeah, I came here last Sunday to make an appointment with Grey for a tattoo." Kate responded._

 _"O-kay." Ana said, and nodded._

 _"Anastasia, this is Christian Grey. Grey, this is my bestie, Anastasia Steele. " Kate remarked, as she introduced the two to each other._

 _In response, they shook hands. As their hands connected, so did their eyes. Clear blue orbs, connecting with sparkling gray ones._

 _"So, Miss Kavanagh. What will it be?" Christian asked, while raising an eyebrow._

 _"Uhmm— what do you think, Ana? What should I take?"_

 _Christian's eyes landed on Ana, waiting for her to answer. 'Oh, boy. Why are his gray eyes so freaking beautiful?' was what Anastasia thought, as their eyes locked once more._

 _"Well, I think that you should pick out whatever you want, Kate. I can't decide it for you. You have to live with it every day, not me. Have you decided yet, where you want the tattoo?" Ana replied, almost tripping over her own words, as she attempted to avoid Christian's hypnotic gaze._

 _Kate nodded, and said. "Yup, on my ankle. I want one on my ankle…"_

 _"Well, think about it. We have the time." Christian replied. "Want something to drink?" he then offered._

 _"Sure, I'd like a beer. I'm off duty, since an hour ago." Kate pointed out, still contemplating what to choose. At this point, she had narrowed it down to two choices, and yet she was still completely torn between the two._

 _When Ana didn't respond to his offer, Christian glanced at her. " And you, Miss?"_

 _"I'd like a coke, please. I'm the designated driver— like always." Ana explained, not knowing why she HAD to explain it all to that gorgeous, gray-eyed man…_

 _As Christian walked over to the small fridge to grab the drinks for the girls, Kate smiled widely at Ana._

 _"Kate, so he owns this parlor?" Ana asked curiously._

 _"Yes, he does. But he told me it's a big hobby of him. My sources say that he comes from a very wealthy family, and he bought it to explore his creative side…" Kate explained." He doesn't see it as a job, because he has one… my sources have informed me that he's part of the NAVY's Special Forces unit. "_

 _Kate said the last sentence in a hush tone._

 _"Oh, that's cool." Ana commented, attempting to act nonchalantly, but her bestie saw right through her._

 _"He's hot, isn't he? I saw how you were checking him out. " Kate whispered, and winked at Ana._

 _"No, I wasn't! Now shut up! He's coming back!" Ana snapped._

 _"Ooh, you want him, don't ya? You were drooling at him, girlfriend. Go on, go for it. You so deserve it, Ana." Kate kept teasing." You really need some hot, passionate sex, girl…"_

 _"Shut up! I do not!" Ana hissed, and elbowed her best friend._

 _"Ouch!" Kate reacted._

 _"What happened?" Christian asked, looking genuinely concerned._

 _"Nothing!" Kate and Ana said in unison, while looking at him all innocently._

 _"OK, here you go. One beer and one coke." Christian said, and handed the girls their drink._

 _"We were just having a chat about why Anastasia doesn't want to drink beer." Kate explained._

 _"And why is that?" Christian asked curiously._

 _"She told you that she always has to be the designated driver, but in truth—what Anastasia really means is; she's a doctor 24/7. She not only takes her job home, but she takes it everywhere! Even here." Kate teased, and winked at Ana._

 _"That's not true! You make it sound like I'm no fun at all!" Ana protested._

 _Kate burst out into laughter. "Ana, come on! I'm your best friend since kindergarten! Who knows you better than me? Even your dad doesn't know you like I do. You are the stiffest, strictest person I know. You care more about rules and taking care of people; you do not know what fun is!" she pointed out. "All you think about is work, work, work. It's awesome how you're able to heal sick people, and I admire you so much for it. But, you can have fun once in a while, you know?"_

 _"I can't believe you're s—"Ana began, but Christian gently cut her off._

 _"I'm really sorry to interrupt, you two. But you're my last client for the evening, Miss Kavanagh."_

 _"OK, OK. I've decided what I want." Kate replied, and nodded._

 _"Alright then, you can take a seat, now." Christian suggested, and went to grab his tattoo tool box._

 _When he returned, he offered Ana a seat on the couch._

 _She gladly accepted his offer—Ana was exhausted from pulling all-nighters at the hospital. A colleague of hers was on vacation, and another had been sick for a whole week. So who was willing to cover for them? Ana of course._

 _"You comfortable?" Christian asked, as he watched how she took a seat on his couch._

 _"Yes, I am. Thank you." She replied, her heart thumping wildly against her chest._

 _'Why must his eyes be so beautiful?' Ana thought right then._

 _"Good. I better get to work now." Christian said, and walked over to Kate._

 _As Anastasia sank into the very comfortable couch, her eyes automatically fluttered shut._

 _'Kate is nuts! I wasn't drooling at Christian! Yes, he is tall, and oh so hot... so ruggedly handsome. Damn! And he's so my type, but— whatever! Kate was seeing things that weren't there... Ugh!' Ana thought, attempting to convince herself that her best friend was wrong._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _ **... After a while ...**_  
 _._

 _._

 _"Anastasia, Anastasia..." She heard a male voice say from afar._

 _"Hmmm?" Ana responded, but then went back to sleep again._

 _"Anastasia..." She heard that familiar voice again. That manly voice…_

 _But then she heard another. "Anastasia Steele!"_

 _That one was Kate's voice..._

 _"Leave me." Ana objected, her eyes still closed._

 _But then she felt her best friend's tight grip on her upper arm._

 _"Wake up! Wake up, sleepy head. Come see my tattoo!" Kate insisted._

 _In response, Ana's eyes fluttered open." Huh? Let me see, girl."_

 _Kate smiled widely, and proudly showed Ana her tattoo. "And? What do you think?"_

 _Ana responded by gasping softly, her hand covering her mouth. "It's beautiful! It's very beautiful, sweetie."_

 _"Really?" her best friend asked._

 _"Definitely. Beautiful. You're a talented artist, Christian Grey," Ana complimented._

 _"Well, thank you, Doctor Steele... To get such a compliment from you— well, I'm honored." he teased, as his gray eyes pierced through her blue ones._

 _At the moment, Kate could jump in the air of joy. Not only was she in love with her new tattoo, but her best friend had finally met a guy who could keep up with her. Kate just had a feeling—a hunch that these two were meant to be..._

 _"Earth to Anastasia and Christian! You guys? Will you stop staring at each other, and just go on a date or something?" Kate insisted, with a wide grin on her pretty face._

 _At that, Ana broke eye contact with Christian, and shook her head." Nope, I have a better— much better idea!"_

 _"And that is?" Kate asked._

 _Ana then turned her head to face Christian." Kate keeps telling me that I'm no fun. Well, I'll show her that I can be fun and spontaneous." She pointed out. "Christian, I want a tattoo. I want a tattoo on my back— precisely between my shoulder blades...Think you can do that for me?"_

.

.

.

 **... END OF FLASHBACK ...**

.

.

Ana still had her eyes locked onto Christian's, still standing oh so close to each other. But both were so afraid to do or say anything else.

She observed him and as a single tear spilled from her eye, and slowly rolled down her cheek, she softly said." Christian,"

"Anast—" he managed to say, his voice very weak.

Ana watched as his left hand trembled, when he brought it slowly towards his waist, the look on his face filled with utter pain.

In response, she gave him a concerned look, and asked. "Christian, are you OK?"

He looked at her, shaking his head, and then she observed as his eyes landed on the left side of his waist. Ana immediately reacted, when it dawned on her that he was bleeding through his red shirt!

"Inside!" She ordered, and instantly unlocked her apartment door.

"I'm sorry you have— you have to see me like thi— this." He managed to say, his voice breaking.

"No time for apologies now... let me look how bad it is." Ana pointed out, and helped him lay down on her couch.

She instantly, but carefully pulled his shirt up, and at that moment wasn't certain if the wound was fatal. For just one second she contemplated whether or not to call an ambulance.

As she grabbed the phone from her pocket, Christian saw it and pleaded." No, please Anastasia... No hospitals, please? N—no Po—police."

As he said those words, his gray eyes weren't glassy, but very clear. He really didn't want the authorities to find out about what had happened to him.

She immediately knew why he didn't go to the hospital for help.

"Christian, listen to me and listen to me carefully. I will look at the wound, but _I_ will decide what happens next! Not you." She told him, her tone sharp and serious.

Without hesitation she hurried to the bathroom to get her first aid kit, towels— a lot of them, a scissor and the needed essentials. When she got back, he attempted to look up at her, but his eyes were glassy now, on the verge of passing out.

"No, no, no! Stay with me, Christian!" Ana shouted, and immediately got rid of his jacket, and began cutting his red, long sleeve shirt with the scissor. It was then, when she saw his right arm...

"Oh God!" Ana exclaimed, her hand covering her mouth.

Christian noticed how she was looking at his arm. Well, there's no point in hiding it from her now, was there? He was very weak, but slowly began taking off his black leather gloves, exposing his arm and hand completely. She watched, almost paralyzed, as he gently grabbed her hand with his right hand, the metal fingers interlacing with hers, making a shiver go up and down her spine...

"Hey, don't be afraid. It's still me." he whispered, the look in his beautiful, soulful eyes so lost and pleading. It hurt her so much to see him this way, so she broke eye contact, her blue eyes darting towards the spot where his prosthetic arm began...

'God, what had happened to _my_ Christian?!' she thought, while a huge lump formed in her throat, her eyes teary.

When he saw that Ana broke eye contact, it tore at his heart and soul. Christian thought that she was rejecting him.

However, she was not...

Ana locked eyes with him again, and almost got lost in his gaze, but then she remembered that Christian was still bleeding out in her living room!

'Well, he can explain later.' Ana thought, and immediately tended to his wound.

"I have to take care of you now... try to stay still, OK?" She said without waiting for his reply.

With the wet towels, she began cleaning up his torso. She saw that there was a bullet lodged into his flesh, but it didn't go through any major organs. Relieved about that, but still worried about the blood loss, Ana noticed that his eyes began to close bit by bit. She needed to stop the bleeding ASAP!

"Christian, Christian!" she said, attempting to prevent him from losing consciousness, while trying to get the bullet out." Remember how we met? R'member?"

At hearing that, the sides of his mouth curled upwards into a smile, while he weakly looked up at her." Of course, how can I f— forget. I— I knew the m—moment I met you th— that you were gonna change my life." He began, but groaned in pain, and then continued." You looked s—so good, I immediately fell in love with y—your chestnut-col... colored locks..."

At that, she swallowed the lump in her throat, while giving him morphine. After the bullet was out, she carefully but swiftly took good care of his wound. Never in a million years would Ana have thought that this was the _way_ she'd see Christian again after eight long, excruciating years, after being apart. This was not how she had imagined reuniting with him.

With blood on her hands, a black leather jacket lying on the floor, next to it a red shirt cut in tatters, her living room filled with hospital tools and white towels turned red by Christian's blood...

No, not quite how she had fantasized at all. As her eyes scanned her apartment, she wiped away the sweat off of her forehead.

Her eyes automatically then landed on Christian... She observed him, while he was lying injured on her couch. And when their eyes met once again, Ana's heart instantly pounded wildly inside her chest...

Even after all this time, he still could make her feel _**so** _much with just a single look.

'This man will be the end of me.' were the words that swirled around her head, while trying very hard not to lose her heart to him for the second time...

* * *

 _ **Note: Thank you for reading my work and reviewing, you all.**_

 _ **You are awesome.**_

 _ **So... what do you all think?**_

 ** _Can you take a moment of your precious time to leave me a review?_**

 ** _Till the next one,_**

 ** _xoxo_**

 ** _J_**


	3. Do you really hate me, Ana?

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy

 **Note: All the support and the reviews I received for the previous chapter, have inspired me.**

 **So... here is the next chapter. :)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **Do you really hate me, Ana?**

xxx [[[]]] xxx

* * *

 ** _'This man will be the end of me.' were the words that swirled around her head, while trying very hard not to lose her heart to him for the second time..._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 **... A while later ...**

 **.**

After Ana had checked his vitals once more, she finally was able to let out the breath that she had been holding. Christian was doing a bit better, the bleeding had stopped completely, the color of his face returned gradually. At the moment, he was lying on her couch, asleep, his breathing even. Christian was breathing normally, his chest moving up and down the way it was supposed to, no shallowness and without difficulty.

Relieved about it, Ana began tidying up the living room. The jacket landed in the washing machine, while the towels and his tattered red shirt ended up in the trash can, along with the gauze and the rest of the stuff she had used to take care of his bullet wound.

When she was done, Ana walked over to her bedroom to freshen up, because her white shirt and pants were stained with Christian's blood also. After a quick shower, she pulled a black blouse over her head, and wore light blue skinny jeans. Ana had called the hospital to inform her boss that something had come up, a family emergency, and that she needed some time off.

And right now she was in the kitchen, stirring a cup of coffee, her mind completely blank for a few minutes. But then the wheels in her head started turning and turning. What had happened to him? Christian lost his right arm, and now he has a prosthetic one in its place? His touch was just the way she remembered, but this time it was cold from the metal. How did he lose his arm though? And when did it happen? Where did it happen?

Ana remembered the day she spoke to his Navy buddy, Luke Sawyer. No one had ever given her a proper explanation of what had happened to Christian, not even the military. So she asked Luke about it. He refused at first, only saying that they failed the mission, and that Christian was the casualty. However, Ana had been very persistent, and kept asking, until she finally was able to force it out of Luke.

 _ **"We were on a mission, Miss Steele. Our crew had to extract a very important package. Christian was the one who was able to get a hold of the package, but we were ambushed. It was a setup, and we had to flee. Only three members of our crew got out of that place alive." Luke explained, his voice breaking at one point, while he avoided eye contact with Ana.**_

 _ **"I don't get it. I don't understand! You left him there? Alone?!" She had said to Christian's colleague, who also happened to be his best friend, while grabbing him harshly by his upper arm, her voice two pitches higher than usual." You left your best friend behind?!"**_

 _ **"I'm so sorry." Was all he could say at the time, while tears pooled in his blue eyes.**_

 _ **"Is the NAVY not going to send people to get him back?!" Ana asked, and gave him a helpless look.**_

 _ **"I'm very sorry, Miss Steele… I already said too much..." he replied, and after that Luke walked out the door, leaving Ana devastated and hopeless behind.**_

.

.

.

 **… End of FLASHBACK …**

 **.**

Well, now Christian was here and she could finally have all the answers. Although Ana wanted, and needed the answers to her questions, a small part of her didn't want to know. What will Christian tell her?

Will he tell her **everything**? Will he tell her that he was caught by the enemy and that he was tortured by them?! Did they cut off his arm on purpose?! Who were they?

Or was it an accident? Was it a bomb? And what about _after_ they gave him the prosthetic arm? Where had he been for eight years? What has he been doing all that time? Had he still been working for the NAVY, the government? Or not?

All those questions were giving her a head ache at a certain point, so Ana got up from her chair and walked towards the couch. As she looked down at Christian, she smiled, and gently brushed a lock from his handsome face. God, he still looked the same, exactly like she remembered. That jawline though...

After that, Ana checked his vitals again. "Good, he doesn't have a fever." She whispered.

She was afraid of that, but surprisingly his body temperature was stable. As her eyes landed on his metal arm, she suddenly thought of how _they_ managed to replace his human right arm with the metal one. Terrifying images plagued Ana, as she imagined how awful and horrifying it must have been for Christian...

As a loud sob escaped her lips, Ana gently traced his face with her fingertips.

"I'm so sorry, Christian. I'm sorry you had to go through it all alone." was what tumbled from her plump, pink lips at that very moment." I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

At one point this whole ordeal became too much for her heart to take. Ana couldn't do this alone. Besides Christian, she needed someone else. She needed her best friend. Yes, she had to tell her. It was then when Ana decided to call Kate and tell her about Christian being in her apartment.

She and Kate had a falling out four years ago, the reason for it was lying on her couch, in the living room. At one point Kate had begged Ana to move on with her life, but she refused. After that, her best friend had given her an ultimatum.

.

.

 **… Flashback …**

.

.

 _"If you won't move on, Ana. If you won't let him go, I can't be your best friend anymore. You will lose me. Do you want that?" Kate pleaded._

 _"No, I don't want that! I can't lose you too, Kate." Ana had said._

 _"Then let him go, please. It's been four long years! Christian is gone, Ana. He wouldn't want you to live like this." Kate insisted._

 _"No, he's not, Kate. I can feel it! He's not dead!" Ana replied, attempting to convince her best friend._

 _In response, the blonde smiled sadly, while her eyes watered. "I'm sorry, Ana. I— I can't do this anymore. I can't stay and keep watching as you turn into a shell of what you used to be." she said, her voice breaking." I care too much about you. I—I just can't. Call me when you've finally let him go. OK? I'll be there for you when you do."_

 _"Kate... don't," she uttered, as her heart broke, feeling lost without her best friend._

 _Kate gave Ana one last tight hug, and walked away. But before closing the door, she turned around and said one last thing, while the tears flowed down her cheeks._

 _"You know what pains me the most, Ana? It's that you truly believe that he isn't dead."_

 _._

 _._

 ** _... End of flashback ..._**

 _._

 _._

Well, that happened four years ago. Ana missed her best friend so much, and wanted nothing more right now than to have her here, helping her with Christian. Ana walked towards her bedroom, where she had left her phone. As she walked through the doorway, her eyes immediately landed on the night cabinet. She was just about to grab her phone, when she felt a cold hand holding her wrist. She gasped loudly, as the cold of his metal fingers connected with her warm skin, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Anastasia..." Christian whispered, his lips near her right ear, his warm breath tickling the sensitive skin there, making her knees turn into jelly.

Ana responded by turning around slowly, her heart ramming against her chest. She knew that she should scold him for getting up! He hasn't healed yet! Why was he up? But all of those words evaporated, the second her blue eyes connected with his gray ones. He stood so near, his face so close, his torso bare, and his eyes... God, his eyes were still as beautiful as she remembered. Neither one of them said one word, their eyes said it all. He slowly brought his hand towards her face, tracing her cheeks, her eyes instantly fluttering shut, his thumb resting on her bottom lip, tracing it slowly... When she felt that, Ana's eyes fluttered open, her eyes filled with a desperation, pleading for him to stop... or maybe not to stop.

"Christian, " Ana whispered, her voice desperate, her eyes pleading, her chest heaving, the feeling in the pit of her stomach driving her completely mad.

Oh God, she missed him so much...

"Anastasia..." He breathed, while a silent tear rolled down his cheek.

Oh, how much she wanted to tell him to lie down on the couch again. He was just shot recently, and Ana didn't want him to tear up his stiches. Him moving around after she just had patched him up, could cause his injuries more damage!

However, her brain was cloudy at the moment. Ana was so under Christian's spell, unable to think or form coherent thoughts/ sentences. There was a storm raging behind his gray eyes. Like he was fighting an internal battle within him. They stood in front of each other, both unable to say or do anything.

Christian observed Ana, and noticed how she had changed… just a little bit. There were dark circles under her blue eyes and after eight years, he noticed a little wrinkle here and there on her face. He has denied himself her presence for so long, his whole body hurting, aching for hers.

And by that he didn't mean his injury right now. He meant that his heart, mind and body had missed Ana so much. Christian craved for her like an addict craved his drug... Christian longed for her soft touches, her loving eyes and her oh so sweet scent.

He missed being with her, waking up with her in their bed, and missed her beautiful smile… but most of all he missed being near her, being enveloped by her undying love and devotion. How much he wanted to pull Ana in his embrace right now. Hug her and hold her, cling to her, not wanting to ever let her go...

At that very moment, Ana was looking at him through her thick eyelashes, while holding in her breath. Her eyes darted towards his lips, oh how she remembered how wonderful those sinful lips felt on her own… how those lips felt on every single inch of her body, from her head to her toe.

Just the thought made her feel as if her body was set ablaze, her need for him too overwhelming...

She wanted to close the small gap between them… her heart and head needed him so much. She missed him… everything about him, and just wanted to be in his arms right now. Why isn't he doing anything?! Doesn't he miss her?! Doesn't Christian want to hold her tight like he used to?

Why was he just standing there like an effing marble statue!

Christian noticed how the expression on Ana's face changed… like she was angry with him. God, he wanted to hug her so much. But that would be such a bad idea… if he would just hold her close now, he wouldn't be able to let her go again.

And he had to! He had to let the love of his life go. He just loved Ana so damn much!

It was then, when a soft sob escaped Ana's lips, tearing at Christian's heart and soul. Ana was so angry with him right now, not being able to understand why he was just standing there a couple of inches away from her.

Doesn't he notice how much she needed him?

At a certain point Ana broke eye contact, her eyes darting away from his gaze. It hurt too much to be so close to him and not being able to feel his warmth… The one thing she missed more than him…

The sight of Ana at that moment made Christian almost lose his restraint… God, he missed her so much…

He slowly brought his prosthetic hand towards her face, and as it collided with Ana's cheek, Christian noticed how she shuddered under that simple touch. He slowly moved her head with his cold hand until her gorgeous eyes locked onto his once more.

"Christian... where have you been all this time?" Ana asked, the look in her eyes so pleading." When did you return home?"

In response, Christian gently cupped her face with both hands, while his heart thumped wildly against his chest.

"I've been back for more than a month now..." he replied." I'm so sorry that I didn't let you know right away, Ana..."

It was in that moment when Ana completely lost it...

HE'S BEEN BACK ONE WHOLE MONTH?!

She couldn't bear it anymore… it was too much! Up until now she had kept her emotions in check, but Ana had reached her breaking point. All kinds of different emotions washed over her whole being, while looking into his gray eyes.

Anger, hurt, bitterness, love, hate was what she felt… Ana's heart imploded inside her chest, making her whole body tremble heavily.

It became too overwhelming, so she did what she did next. He stood just inches away from her, radiating heat, making her weak in the knees, driving her to the brink of insanity!

Ana fucking lost it...

"You've been back one whole month and you didn't tell me?!"

And then she slapped him on his cheek… Christian didn't expect that and was so shocked that he took one step back from her. Oh, that gave her the opportunity to let it all out. Every single feeling that she had bottled up for eight long years was being thrown out by her right now.

"I hate you! How dare you leave me and never look back! Do you know how much you've hurt me?! I hate you!" she shouted." I do not want your stupid apologies, Christian! I want an explanation..."

As hot tears ran down her face, Ana's gut wrenching sobs echoed in the room.

Christian silently took the punishment, but didn't do anything to stop her. She kept saying over and over again how much she hated him. Her words tore at his heart and soul, cutting right through him, and yet he stayed quiet, his eyes fluttering shut.

He let Ana rage out, because he knew how much he had hurt her. He knew that she was hurting badly. Christian was glad though that she was able to express her anger towards him.

At a certain point, Ana got tired and stopped with the yelling and scolding…

That's when Christian dared to open his eyes.

As he watched and admired Ana, his heart thumped fast like before. She looked breathtaking at that very moment: her cheeks were flushed from anger, her tears were flowing, her hair was a beautiful mess, her chest heaving.

She was a beautiful mess…

Christian couldn't help himself and locked eyes with her." Do you really hate me, Anasta─sia?" he asked, his voice breaking at the end, tears pooling in his eyes." Do you?"

She looked straight at him, her ocean blue eyes filled with anger and every other emotion possible. "Yes! I hate you… you selfish, inconsiderate jerk! Why did you leave me, I was so lost withou…" she began, but it was then when Christian lost his self-control, unable to hold himself back, so he cut her off by cupping her face gently and capturing her plump, pink lips with his own.

* * *

Note: Thank you so much for reading my work and reviewing. :)

You are awesome.

Can you take a moment of your precious time and leave me a review? :)

Till the next one,

J


	4. For Ana's sake

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy

.

 **Note: All the support and the reviews I received for the previous chapter, have melted my heart.**

 **You are my inspiration, you all. ;)**

 **So... here is the next chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 **For Ana's sake**

xxx [[[]]] xxx

* * *

 **.**

 **She looked straight at him, her ocean blue eyes filled with anger and every other emotion possible. "Yes! I hate you… you selfish, inconsiderate jerk! Why did you leave me, I was so lost withou…" she began, but it was then when Christian lost his self-control, unable to hold himself back, so he cut her off by cupping her face gently and capturing her plump, pink lips with his own.**

As their lips collided, Ana's eyes fluttered shut, while her heart exploded inside her chest.

God… I cannot resist him.

Ana's hands landed on the back of his neck, while he grabbed her oh so possessively. He didn't have to ask… Ana gladly opened her mouth, letting his tongue delve inside, making her tremble with desire.

Christian's right hand landed on her ass, and she gasped as he squeezed her cheeks, her eyes open.

Their eyes locked on one another, Ana's hand landing on his face, his eyes fluttering shut.

"I love you so much" she confessed, and that's when he snapped.

A soft growl escaped his lips, and he picked Ana up, so she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Need. You. now" He stated, and that's when he crashed his lips onto hers again, making her gasp aloud.

As their tongues dueled, Christian walked towards the bed and laid her down onto it. He gave her a look so delicious and heart-warning at the same time, making Ana feel as if her body was set ablaze. As she admired his beautiful scarred body, her heart thumped wildly against her rib-cage.

"I have waited so long for you, baby" she said desperately." Don't make me wait any longer"

And yet he stood there, and looked at Ana as if he was afraid to continue.

She saw the hesitation in his eyes, so Ana decided to take charge. In a flash, she sat up and grabbed him by the hand.

Ana then kissed his knuckles one by one, making Christian's heart melt into a puddle.

"Ana…" he began, and gave her a sad and apologetic look." I need to tell you…"

However, Ana cut him off by pulling him to her, and whispered in his ear." That can wait… I want you so badly, Christian. You have no idea how much"

Well, that was it!

Her lips were so close to his ear, her warm breath tickling the sensitive skin there, making him fucking hard, his erection straining against his pants. As he stood in front of the bed, Ana traced his scarred, but muscled chest with her small hand, her heart thumping wildly against her rib-cage.

Doing this really turned her on... Fuck.

While exploring his body, she deliberately avoided touching his bullet wound of course.

"I'll be gentle" she whispered, and as her hand landed on his belt buckle, Christian inhaled, their eyes locked, Ana's blue eyes filled with hunger and love.

While she carefully unbuckled it, Christian's heart hammered against his chest, not believing that this was truly happening right now.

He waited years for this… longed for it and dreamed about it. About her… his Ana.

He watched, as she bit her bottom lip seductively, while unzipping his pants.

"Wait." He said, and placed a hand over hers.

"But…" she tried, but he cut her off by capturing her face with both hands, and so Ana kneeled on the bed, her eyes fiery.

He kissed her again, his tongue delving and dominating hers in a possessive manner.

"I wanna see it" he whispered, after pulling away from the passionate kiss.

Ana was in a daze, so turned on by Christian and his kisses and touches.

"Your tattoo" he replied, and swiftly turned Ana around, so he was able to touch her from behind.

Ana gasped aloud, as she felt his prostatic fingers on her neck. He gently kissed her there, and with his right hand, he began undressing her.

From behind, Christian took off her blouse, and then her bra…

Ana felt so exposed, and God it was the sexiest thing she felt in over eight years.

"Lay down on your stomach" he ordered, and she obeyed.

Ana felt how Christian traced her naked back with his fingers… cold and warm at the same time. ( cold because of his prostatic left hand)

A tear rolled down his cheek, as Christian saw the tattoo between her shoulder blades…

"Sooo beautiful, baby…" he whispered, and traced the outline of the tattoo, making Ana gasped aloud.

"I thought after all this time, you would have gotten rid of it" he said, and caressed her sides lovingly.

"Never" she told him, still facing the matrass instead of him.

It was then, when Christian began kissing Ana's neck, and then he went lower and lower… the moment his lips ended up between her shoulder blades, and his hand slipped into her jeans, ending up on her panty covered core, Ana felt herself getting wetter than before…

"Christian, PLEASE…" She begged, and finally turned her head to face him.

Well, she didn't have to tell him twice.

He flipped her over in one swift move, making Ana yelp softly.

He gave her an appreciative look, and then his eyes darted down to her naked breasts.

"Just as perky as I remembered" he whispered, while playing with her folds.

One moment he was admiring her breasts and the next, he latched his sinful mouth onto her nipple, making Ana tremble with want.

After that, their hands worked like magic, their clothes scattered on the floor at one point.

She looked up, her chest heaving, and her eyes blown wide with lust. Christian was naked, and God… just watching him all hard and erect, made Ana soaking wet.

The sight of him naked, in all his glory, made her salivate like she was lusting after her favorite dish.

"Please" she begged, and grabbed his hand and brought it towards her mouth… and then she sucked on it.

Christian wanted so badly to feel her hands on his cock, but he waited patiently, and instead he placed his hand on her panties once more.

Godddd, her pink panties were soaked through and through.

"All for me" he said. It was NOT a question.

He gently pushed them aside, and entered her with two of his fingers, making Ana arch her back, while she panted and moaned…

"Please, baby" she whimpered, but because he was still taking his time, Ana decided to take charge again.

She sat up, and grabbed him and pulled him towards her. They kissed once more, while he landed on top of her.

"Spread your legs wide for me, baby…" he demanded, and she obeyed.

As he entered her, they both gasped aloud, too far gone in their bubble to care if her neighbors heard them.

Christian began moving in and out of her, their pace slow at first, but then it got urgent and all she could say was." I'm so close, babyyyyy"

She was worried about his wound, and so she told him to slow down. But, he was also almost there…

He knew he wouldn't last long, if he would feel Ana's walls contracting around his cock.

"I cannot go slowerrr" he uttered, and kept moving in and out of Ana, making her moan aloud, as she began to feel herself coming apart.

"Christiannnn" she whimpered, and with one last push from him, Ana spiraled towards an orgasm so powerful, she cried out, her back arching while biting Christian's chest… hard.

He too felt the explosion of that mind blowing orgasm, and while he shuddered into her, Christian roared Ana's name, forgotten was the fear he felt not long ago…

It took them a few minutes to recover from that high, and the first thing Ana noticed, when she opened her eyes was Christian's bullet wound.

She sat up with a start, and shouted." Shit! Your wound, Christian!"

As he opened his own eyes, he saw Ana jump out of bed in a flash, while covering herself with the closest bathrobe from her closet.

"Ana? What are you d... ?" he began, and it was then, when he noticed his injury.

The stitches were torn, and he was beginning to bleed again.

"FUCK!" he said, and just as he was about to get up from the bed, he saw Ana rush into the bedroom with supplies in her hand.

"Lay still, Christian…" she ordered, and so he obeyed.

He watched, as she cleaned up the wound once more and stitched him up.

While watching the love of his life, Christian's heart broke into a million pieces. He loved her so much and by the looks of it, Ana still loved him too.

"Don't worry… I'll fix you up" he heard Ana say.

"I know I can count on you, Ana…"

As he said those words, Christian was brought back in time.

.

.

… **FLASHBACK …**

.

.

.

 _They were on a mission to retrieve a very important package. After Christian grabbed said package, he and his group members, including Sawyer were so ecstatic._

 _However, right after Christian had the package in his hands, they were ambushed!_

 _The enemy had surrounded the small building, and within minutes they fired at Christian and his NAVY buddies._

 _It was chaotic, but Christian still had a plan in mind._

" _Where's the helicopter!" he shouted, while they were being shot at._

" _It's too far away!" he heard Sawyer say…" we won't make it."_

 _As the gun battle raged on between Christian's team, and the enemy, he had something in mind._

" _We need a distraction…" Christian shouted over the noise, and locked eyes with Sawyer._

 _The moment his best friend saw Christian's face, he shook his head." NO… BAD idea, Grey"_

 _Sawyer then turned his head and kept shooting at their foes._

" _There's no other option!" Christian shouted throughout the loud noise." I'll stay behind and take them all out!"_

" _NO!" Sawyer shouted." We're gonna stay together… as a team"_

" _We will all DIE, if we do, buddy" Christian said." At least with my plan, we have a shot at surviving."_

 _It was then, when Max Dumont and Michael Russo, two other NAVY Seals, rushed towards them._

" _Sawyer, we should consider Grey's plan" Dumont insisted, while placing a hand on his chest._

" _Are you shot?!" Sawyer shouted, and then examined his colleague._

 _Dumont nodded." It's nothing… the bullet just scraped me"_

 _However, Christian and Sawyer noticed how he fell to his knees all of a sudden._

" _FUCK… NO!" Sawyer exclaimed, when he realized that Dumont's injury was serious._

 _Christian then placed a hand on Sawyer's upper arm." We have to execute my plan.. NOW"_

 _Without waiting for his answer, Christian rushed to the other room, and grabbed the explosives._

 _He gave specific instructions how everyone had to reach the helicopter. It was dark out; it was almost midnight. So, the darkness was on their side._

 _They had the gear needed to execute this mission, including night vision goggles._

" _I'll be the distraction, and lead them away from all six of you. Just make sure you get to the chopper." Christian said aloud, and then handed Sawyer the package." Guard it with your life."_

 _Sawyer nodded, and said." We will rendezvous at the drop point at 02:00 hours"_

 _Christian nodded." You better, buddy. I'm counting on you.… Now go!"_

 _Well, little did he know that that was going to be the last time he ever saw his best friend._

 _His plan was going smoothly. Christian had detonated the small explosive, confusing the enemy and in the process killed half of them._

 _In the chaos, Sawyer and the rest were able to get away, and Christian geared up and attacked the rest of the enemy._

 _He was outnumbered at one point, and so he hid in an abandoned building._

 _Christian was strong, fast and had more stamina than the rest of his group._

 _That's why he was so sure his plan would work._

 _However, he did not expect the next thing to happen._

 _As he looked out from the damaged window, Christian's eyes went wide._

 _FUCK._

" _This I will NEVER survive" was the last thing he said, followed by a thunderous noise, and then it became dark before his very eyes._

 _._

 _._

… **End OF FLASHBACK …**

 **.**

 **.**

"All done, Christian" he heard Ana say, bringing him back to the present.

He smiled at her, and gave her a loving look." Come here…"

She closed the gap between them, and that's when he leaned towards her and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Thank you again, Ana" he said, and brushed a lock from her face." Let me help you clean up in here."

She shook her head in response." No… you should wear some clothes now… there are clean ones in the first, and second drawer of the vanity." Ana said, and lovingly caressed his cheek. She still was unable to believe that Christian was really here with her. And GOD, did she really make love to him just now?

"You didn't give my clothes away?" he asked, surprised.

Ana shook her head." I couldn't get rid of them, because I strongly believed you were going to come back to me." She confessed, her voice shaky." SO… I'm gonna tidy the place up, and then afterwards, we will talk."

He nodded." YES… I'll tell you everything, Ana" Christian told her." You deserve to know what happened to me all those years ago."

"Thank you"

Ana began to clean up, and Christian wore his clothes.

He was just about to grab the black leather jacket, when he heard the doorbell. Christian furrowed his brows, wondering who it could be.

He cautiously walked towards the living room, and when he saw who was standing at the threshold of the door, his face turned pale.

"Kate?" he heard Ana say." What are you doing here?"

"Ana… it's been such a long time… how are you?"

"Well, I'm doing Okay… I can't believe you're really here…"

Well, after hearing that, Christian quietly walked back to Ana's bedroom.

He had to GET THE HELL out of there. ASAP!

It pained him so much to leave Ana like this, but he really had no other option. Christian had planned on confiding in her. She had to know what happened during the time he was gone overseas, and everything that he had endured and experienced.

He wanted her to know who had saved his life, and everything else.

However, there was a price on his head right now, and now SHE was here?! Kate?

Was it a coincidence?!

"I think not" he said, and told himself not to panic.

She's POLICE, and from experience Christian knew that he could not trust the authorities!

'They were the ones who left me behind eight years ago' he thought…

Christian frantically began to search for another way out… When he reached the window of the second room, he noticed the fire escape.

He decided then to leave… He _**had**_ to leave. For Ana's sake.

Why? Because the ones who dared to help him and had stayed by his side in the past, had all lost their lives.

No, he couldn't take that risk! He should protect her.

He had to leave…

As Christian carefully climbed down the fire escape, tears rolled down his cheeks, imagining Ana's face, as she realized that he had left her once again.

But, by the third step, Christian hesitated, and then he stopped.

A gnawing pain shot right through his heart and soul, as an image of Ana's devastated face appeared in his mind...

* * *

Note: WILL HE REALLY LEAVE?! He sure doesn't trust the authorities.

Can Kate be trusted? or not?!

Thank you so much for reading my work and reviewing. :)

You are awesome.

 **Can you take a moment of your precious time and leave me a comment? :)**

 **Till the next one,**

 **J**


End file.
